New photo leaked from Vatican reveals Jesus had a security guard stationed in the manager during His birth

AP News - “sweeping prior to Christmas Eve services at the main cathedral in Jakarta, Indonesia” [read full story]

“He also was guarded by three wise men; now that was a smart choice.” - Tina (TPN Subcriber)
“I don’t recall Him being born in Indonesia.” - Howard Downs (TPN Analyst)

A Texas-Italian chef wins big after introducing new recipe during the Texas Hunter Jumper Association's Thanksgiving Show, he will be headed to nationals next week

AP News - “Air Bus, a Dutch Warmblood sport horse, reaches over his stall” [read full story]

“I’ve always heard horse taste really good but too much like glue.” - Todd (TPN Subscriber)
“I’d probably like it then.” - Duke Lazer (TPN Celebrity)

New local study shows majority of Mexico is happy with new design of the U.S. Border fence

AP News - “ending the most high-profile effort yet to break a blockade” [read full story]

“Wow, this new fence design is a lot better than the giant wooden fence. Plus now they won’t have to cross illegally to see whats on the other side, they’ll simply look through the fence now.” - Todd (TPN Subscriber)
“Finally some peace over the border issue.” - Howard Downs (TPN Subscriber)

Planet Three's Leadership Council voted in the future's new World Leader

AP News - “Wearing a traditional Peruvian poncho” [read full story]

“Wait a second, how come this council is voting on the world leader of the future? Shouldn’t this be decided in the future?” - Ned (TPN Subscriber)
“Its important to always be prepared.” - GOP (TPN Political Analyst)

Trying to reinvent the hit cartoon show Smurfs, they are introducing, Kali, a new character from India

Reuters News - “Kali will be worshipped” [read full story]

“Wow, looks like Smurfette will not be the only chick in town now.” - Todd (TPN Subscriber)
“What’s with the Smurf brand always promoting man made gods? Stinking creeps.” - Rob (TPN Cartoonist)

New wind powered cell phones never need to be plugged in

Courtesy of Yahoo! News

“Gives a whole new meaning to getting long winded while on the phone.” - Todd (TPN Subscriber)
“According to top researchers the only problem with these phones is that they blow to much.” Tom Atoes (former 2SG Late Night Show writer)

Chinese Communists cheer the election of their new ruler

AP News - “apparent victory in Obama” [read full story]

“Thats crazy we have two world leaders with the same name.” - Tina (TPN Subscriber)
“Supposedly China’s Obama can’t proof his citizenship either.” - GOP (TPN Reporter)

Safety seats aren't just for children; new law requires anyone under 18 to be in child car seats

AP News - “I think what she needed mostly was counseling..” [read full story]

“Since this slightly dealt with politics, will she still be able to vote in jail?” - Tina (TPN Subscriber)
“I hope not.” GOP (TPN Lead Anchor)

Paramount released a photo from a new Adrien Brody movie where he portrays a handicapped brother of Indy driver Adam Gardener

Reuters News - “..Francisco Longo, president of the Brazilian importer of Ferrari..” [read full story]

“I just adore Adrien Brody and I love Loser’s Lucks former frontman and now Indy racer Adam Gardener even more” - Tina (TPN Subscriber)
“I’m glad to see that Adam is a successful driver nowadays.” - Charles Springhart (TPN Zoologist)

The Jim Henson Company to introduce new realistic looking puppet

AP News - “Believe me, I’ve looked under every stone..” [read full story]

“I wonder if this is for a new movie or Sesame Street?” - Billy (TPN Kids Member)
“Rumor has it the new puppet won’t actually appear anywhere. The puppeteers said it stinks to even try and make it work.” - Howard Downs (TPN Hollywood Insider)

AP News -

Filming for new High School Musical movie right on track.

“Oh, I can’t wait for this! The best film ever!!” - Alison (TPN Subscriber)

“Neither can Simple Jack.” - Howard Downs