Legendary singers/songwriter, Seal, in critical condition after performing during the Canadian national holiday Cinco De Mayo. Seal was about to hit stage when fans met up with him and started striking him with clubs. 'Ah yah, what a shame, eh. We heard Seal was playing in the park, eh,' said Chris Stuckney a local British Columbian Canadian. Traditionally every Canadian grabs their club to hunt seals for their national holiday Cinco De Mayo. 'We had no clue the little thing was a flippin' singer, eh,' explained Kim another local Canadian. 'It's aboot the most ridiculous idea to bring in the only phoca vitulina celebrity in the world, eh, on the only day we all hunt seal, eh. It's a good thing he has such recognizable scars on his face or else he probably would of been the towns dinner, eh.' Seal is expected to head back to the states to determine if he'll press charges against the nation of Canada. 'I'm confident he will be very happy with us and drop the charges,' explained the Prime Minister. 'We sent him a box full of beaver pelts, a hockey puck, snow, seal blubber (good for sores) and a box set of Celine Dion.'
AP News – “a hunter clubs a harp seal pup on the opening day of Canada’s 2008 commercial seal hunt” [read full story]
“Isn’t Seal Canadian?” – Tina (TPN Subscriber)
“No, he’d never made it to adulthood had he of been from Canada.” – GOP (TPN Seal Hunting Expert)
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It is a sad day indeed all of us at the park mourn with Seals family ! TPN is taking donations to help correct ! howard ?
Yes, we are now accepting donations. These donations will really bless Seal and his family. Thank you all for your contributions.
I'm trying to find a place to comment so I decided I'd comment here. So wheres that article you talked about?
Check out the new members only portion in the forum. It only shows up if you join and there you can get the material that is improperly reported or possibly too risky to share.