Music Artist Seal Hospitalized After Being Clubbed By Canadians

Legendary singers/songwriter, Seal, in critical condition after performing during the Canadian national holiday Cinco De Mayo. Seal was about to hit stage when fans met up with him and started striking him with clubs. 'Ah yah, what a shame, eh. We heard Seal was playing in the park, eh,' said Chris Stuckney a local British Columbian Canadian. Traditionally every Canadian grabs their club to hunt seals for their national holiday Cinco De Mayo. 'We had no clue the little thing was a flippin' singer, eh,' explained Kim another local Canadian. 'It's aboot the most ridiculous idea to bring in the only phoca vitulina celebrity in the world, eh, on the only day we all hunt seal, eh. It's a good thing he has such recognizable scars on his face or else he probably would of been the towns dinner, eh.' Seal is expected to head back to the states to determine if he'll press charges against the nation of Canada. 'I'm confident he will be very happy with us and drop the charges,' explained the Prime Minister. 'We sent him a box full of beaver pelts, a hockey puck, snow, seal blubber (good for sores) and a box set of Celine Dion.'