Irish Retailer A Huge Success

Irish retailer Wheel Mart is driving away with all the profits after having huge success during the first quarter. Wheel Mart fired up its engines about a year ago in Bentonville Ireland after a man was tired of ASDA not being convenient enough. 'I hated having to drive about 10 minutes to get some Guinness and four leaf clovers,' explained Kurk O'Malley a local Irish man. Wheel Mart has followed suit with ASDA (Wal Mart) combining groceries, clothes, entertainment, McDonalds, and basically anything you need in one store visit. They only difference is Wheel Mart rolls right up to your house and consumers can step out of their doors to the conveniently accessible store. 'Sadly we aren't quite handicap accessible yet but if you just pretend to be handicap and obtained the little sticker to park close so you don't have to walk, you can easily step into any Wheel Mart,' professed a regional manager and driver. 'We are the new Irish Setter.' A few complaints have come about that the store will just park in front of ASDA's doors and threaten people to buy products sold inside the convenient mobile mark rather than inside ASDA. 'People are super slow, you have to remind them we exist by retailing them about us over and over again,' explained Schmuch McDabbins the Wheel Mart wordsmith. 'I'm sure ASDA would do the same thing if they could move, duh!'