Entries from September 2008 ↓

Escapees have become a big problem for local jail

AFP News - “Researchers found that people who inherit a variation of a gene called ADIPOQ..” [read full story]

“Wanted, giant marshmallow man alert!” - Todd (TPN Subscriber)

“Yeah looks like the Ghostbuster’s finally arrested him.” - Howard Downs

Marine biologist studying wave patterns in a submarine hit a local diver

Reuters news - “The silhouette of a marine biologist is seen during maintenance on a tank of moon jellyfish..” [read full story]

‘Are submarines the new SUV? SUV’s often on their own just go and run over people. I swear if I hear another story like this, I’m selling my gas hog.” - Tina

“You have nothing to fear. The submarine story was just a rare fluke. Submarine’s are usually very sweet.” - GOP

2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit pictorial leak of supermodel remains a local mystery

AP News - “The dispute has arisen over whether to open the grave of Federico Garcia Lorca, widely considered Spain’s best 20th century poet and playwright.” [read full story]

“First it was music, then movies, and now magazines are targets of internet surf pirates. This is an outrage.” - Todd (loyal SI Swimsuit fan)

Last weeks Presidential Debates was filmed in front of a live audience for first time

“I’m not usually political but after watching the debates I can’t wait to vote for my favorite candidate.” - Tina

“…Me either!” - GOP (TPN RNC NRA)

Studies show beer always tastes better when near the Bavarian Alps

“I have always dreamed of going to Oktoberfest.” - Pandaman4 (TPN Chatroom)

“Keep on dreaming.” - GOP

Cher makes one final appearance at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards

“Do you think she is going to focus more on starring in movies?” - Todd (TPN Subscriber)

“Boy I hope, she was a real catch in the movie were her son had a serious case of facial problems” - Duke Lazer

Amish home builders suspecting of drinking alcohol after new evidence surfaces

“I heard that some Amish colonist are illegally moving into Pennsylvania from Kentucky.” - Tina (TPN reader)

“You are correct. We were the first to break this news a few weeks ago, duh. Check out the official story here. - Howard Downs (TPN Chief Editor)

American Space Shuttles refuel at reopened Houston oil refineries

“Do you think the gas stations where space ships refuel only serve moon pies?” - Todd (TPN reader)

“Yeah, and probably won’t serve you unless you were moon boots.” - Joey Goldsmich

Drastic budget cuts force Royal Navy to launch smaller, more fuel efficient ships

“If I knew the ships were going to be so small I wouldn’t of signed up yesterday.” - Alfie (new Royal Navy recruit)

“God bless you son!” - GOP

Filming for new High School Musical movie right on track.

“Oh, I can’t wait for this! The best film ever!!” - Alison (TPN Subscriber)

“Neither can Simple Jack.” - Howard Downs

Chinese Army struggles with Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy

“Its rather strange, from the looks of this photo it doesn’t seem they struggle too much.” - Lance

“Umm.. I’ll give this question to someone else..” - Ping (TPN Foreign Consultant)

Local authorities have foiled terrorist carrying explosives in back of truck

AP - “We’re not concerned at all that a confrontation will occur,” said Ahmadinejad, who is in New York for the U.N. General Assembly. “What (factors) demand a war?” [read full story]

“Wow, sounds like he is finally friendly. I am totally comforted by his cute and kind words.” - Tina
“He is just pulling the world’s leg. Don’t listen to his rhetoric.” - GOP (TPN)

Oktoberfest was interrupted by another UFO after it crashed in Munich

Reuters - Visitors stand in front of a ferris wheel during the second day of the Oktoberfest [read full story]

“Why does TPN report different news from the actual news services?” - Tina from Seattle
“Because we aren’t afraid to report the truth.” - Howard Downs

Local studies reveal online games have aged 12 year old Frederik Pohl too quick

[AP News] “Science fiction writer Frederik Pohl works on his laptop..” [read full story]

“What would you call an elderly hockey player who scores for the third time in one game? …” - Simple Jack

“What?” - Howard Downs (TPN)

“Geri’hattrick,’ get it, geriatric! LOL” - Simple Jack

howard downs has left the chatroom

“You there?” - Simple Jack

Air China experiments with new state-of-the-art barf bag technology

“I read that the Olympics in China this summer had better ratings then the new Knight Rider show.”- Todd

“Go figure.” - Howard Downs (TPN)